Director of Lifespan Faith Formation 9.17.25

“Right now, the world you are inheriting is locked in a struggle between love and fear. Fear manifests as anger, insecurity, and loneliness. Fear eats away at our society, leaving all of us less whole, so we teach you that every healthy relationship inspires love, not fear. Love shows up as kindness, generosity, and compassion. It is healing. It makes us more whole. The greatest gift to ever receive will come through these relationships.” – Vivek H. Murthy

As I continually seek depth and understanding of healthy relationships, I have a much greater appreciation of generative conflict than I used to. (See image for what generative conflict may look like in practice!) Bridging gaps by communicating clearly and expressing authentically are foundational in building a sense of belonging. To be in a cocoon of one’s own, embracing solitude while healing, can be a step on the path, but returning to one another both widens perspective and holds up a mirror to what we have yet to learn, and how deeply and tenderly we can know love through our vulnerabilities.

I held a lot of fear in my body while I was growing up that I am grateful has gradually but certainly softened and dissolved each time I choose courage. It was not until recent years that I thought of myself as courageous. Brene’s Brown’s exploration of the root and meaning of courage has helped me understand what it means to practice:
“Courage is a heart word. The root of the word courage is cor – the Latin word for heart. In one of its earliest forms, the word courage meant “To speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart.” Over time, this definition has changed, and today, we typically associate courage with heroic and brave deeds. But in my opinion, this definition fails to recognize the inner strength and level of commitment required for us to actually speak honestly and openly about who we are and about our experiences — good and bad. Speaking from our hearts is what I think of as “ordinary courage.”

May all of us be courageous in our truth-telling, curious in witnessing one another, and practice kindness, generosity, and compassionate in ways that provide symbiotic, nurturing relationships to ourselves and one another.

Upcoming Opportunities:

  • Sunday, October 5th, Young Adult Luncheon 12-1:30pm
    Macey will provide soup, bread, sweets, and guided conversation among 18–35-year-old participants. If children are present, they are welcome to stick around to eat and play alongside their parents.
  • Monday Oct 13th, Indigenous People’s Day, 3pm-7pm at Mankato East High School
    Please reach out to Macey if you wish to come help with activities at the UUFM table!

Image above reads:

What makes generative conflict possible?
“Openness to being wrong”
“Actively taking cach other’s perspective”
“A mutual desire to understand the other”
“Being willing to hear criticism and feedback”
“Shared interest in maintaining the relationship”
“Showing up with the intention of resolving, not winning”
“Staying curious”
“Being able to hold our own hurt and explore what’s behind it/beyond it”
“Taking breaks at regular interyals to decompress/ process with seprate trusted support person”
“Noticing what pain was from the moment and what pain was from past”
“Being open and patient, more kind and flexible than aggressive”
“Working on the conflict, not each other”
“Being open to being influenced by the other person”
“Having the skills and self awareness to move beyond initial reactions”
“Releasing my misplaced defensiveness to let me hear what was hard but needed”