Dear Friends,

It is good to be back in Mankato, back to the work and the warmth of the Fellowship. As I described in my December 26 message, I’ve entered a spiritual practice of picking a word to help me remain open to the possibilities that life presents to me.  I appreciate how many of you have shared your words of possibility with me, and pray you are deepening into this contemplative practice. Here is the link again, if you would like to try it for yourself.

My word is “pause,” as in taking a breath and slowing my busy mind, waiting to see what possibilities emerge. This week, the possibility that I am wrong, much more often than I like to admit, has emerged, and I am aware of this in large and small ways. How I misjudged the actions of a colleague. How I have misunderstood my own motivations. How I often mistake caution for fear rather than prudence and plow ahead, without pausing.

This week, I made a mistake during our Joys and Sorrows. Here is what I said: “Let us light a candle for the family of Jazmine Barnes of Houston, a seven-year-old child shot to death by a man driving a red pickup truck, in what appears to be a racially-motivated act.” Jazmine Barnes was indeed shot to death in a horrific act of violence with which her family will live for the rest of their lives. But she did not die at the hand of a man in a red pickup truck and her murder was not racially-motivated. Jazmine was killed in a drive-by shooting, her family and their vehicle mistaken by the shooters for someone else. It is a senseless, a stupefying crime.

I asked for the candle to be lit using the information being reported when I wrote my words for worship. That reporting turned out to be in error. But there is more to learn here than simply that the facts change. We are living in this country within a sea of suspicion and terror. Some people, like me, are inclined to outrage because we know that race motivates crimes, social practices, and laws. We know that justice is often not served. And so our lens of perception is shaped by these truths, and that lens sometimes distorts reality. While I dislike being incorrect and regret perpetuating an error, I realize that such mistakes are likely because we all see through lenses of perception that distort reality rather than reveal it. All I can do within this knowledge is apologize, reflect, and be aware. And repeat.

Jazmine Barnes, in all of this, remains dead, lost to her family and to the world. May her death remind us that our world is flawed, we ourselves are all flawed, and loss persists in our hearts and minds long after precipitating events and the revelation of truth. May we forgive ourselves and each other, and begin again in love.

Looking forward to seeing you all, even in church.

Blessings, Rev. Rita