“Empathy has no script. There is no right way or wrong way to do it. It’s simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of ‘You’re not alone.’”
-Brenè Brown
This past August, I had the privilege of attending an Our Whole Lives training in Minneapolis, where I was trained on how to facilitate the program with our youth. While I haven’t yet been able to implement the specific curriculum with our youth, there were valuable lessons and connections that I have carried with me regularly since.
When I arrived at the training, we began with an activity that invited us to move around the room and speak with others. While the activity was centered around the curriculum, some of us ended up finishing before others. Because I completed the activity rather quickly, I began chatting with one of the facilitators, asking some of the standard questions one might ask upon meeting another, such as where he was from. I was surprised when he cut off our conversation rather quickly. He ensured me that there was a reason why he would choose not to answer my questions.
It wasn’t until the end of the training, that it was stated explicitly to me by both facilitators that they had agreed on having firm boundaries around their own personal sharing. They explained that this was not only this to keep us focused on the extensive material that we spent over 20 hours covering throughout the weekend. This was also a way that they led by example. It was recommended to us to consider how we can hold space and empathize with our young people, without centering our own experiences. While some personal sharing can help us feel connected, it takes some real discernment and thoughtfulness to share intentionally.
May we have the wisdom to know when less is more, as our pauses bring about space for others. Let us be thoughtful in how and when we share our stories. As Brenè Brown states, there is no script for this work, yet we must practice holding space to create safe containers for empathy. I pray that we keep becoming more mindful in listening and skillful in facilitating. May the relationships we cultivate be those in which we all get a turn feeling deeply seen.
…I am here for you, just an email or a phone call away. While I am no longer holding virtual “office hours”, you can reach me on my personal phone at 507-995-7929 or by email at cfddirector@uumankato.org . If I do not answer, I encourage you to send a text or leave a voicemail. Currently, I am available for daytime meetings on Mondays through Wednesdays, as well as Saturdays and Sundays. I also do have availability most other weekday evenings. I will continue to do my best to serve as a resource to our community, through connecting you to one another and of course, directly. Being a light in the lives of others is as important as ever, and I hope you will stay connected.
Macey Forsyth
Please consider joining our private Facebook group: UUFM Children’s Faith Development (https://www.facebook.com/groups/1404655806251029/). This group is intended for families and congregants who are involved in Children’s Faith Development. My approval of new members’ access to the information there is what makes the group a safe space for sharing. I will be sharing our weekly stories as Facebook videos on my personal page publicly and sharing them in the group, as well as short prayers and meditations.
Link to the stories: Our virtual Stories for All Ages are now available on the UUFM YouTube Channel. At least one new story will be available by Sunday, each week.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNwWkbABO6HpDlw5Po2TdQA?view_as=subscriber
Upcoming Youth Group dates:
Wednesday, October 13th, 6:30-8pm Youth Group over Zoom https://uufm.breezechms.com/form/3510f0
Sunday, October 17th, 11:30am-12:30pm Youth Group over Zoom https://uufm.breezechms.com/form/a6d78a225
Wednesday, October 20th, Youth Group 6:30-8pm tentative outdoor movie night – weather permitting https://uufm.breezechms.com/form/3510f015
Children’s Chapel:
Sunday, October 24th, 11:30am-12:30pm Children’s Chapel over Zoom https://uufm.breezechms.com/form/a6d78a2
Children and Youth Outdoor Halloween Party:
Sunday October, 31st from 1-3pm