Concluding the month of Vulnerability

“I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy.” -Rabindranath Tagore

I feel embarrassed and vulnerable when people enter our home in its most disastrous state. It happened this past weekend – Drew invited folks over at the last minute while he was in the middle of some projects, I had just arrived home, and it felt entirely too cluttered to host people well. It was uncomfortable. Yet, they were very generous and kind in reassuring me that they completely understood and were not there to judge me. Could I do the same for myself?

Something I have learned since becoming a mother is the importance of keeping my expectations realistic, especially when it comes to what I can accomplish in a day. I knew I was challenged by this before, but motherhood amplifies it. I used to focus on how imbalanced some aspects of my life were feeling. Now, I aim to notice where my energy is needed and use what I notice to guide me in making and executing categorized to-do lists.

When I consider my goals now, I have started to imagine less of the image of an uneven scale and more of a teeter-totter. Our lives are meant to be fluid, playful, and energized – not rigid, measured, and stagnant. When I focus on accomplishing a lot in any one category, the to-dos in other areas naturally grow, and that’s okay. The objective now is to keep the teeter-totter moving, preventing too much to pile onto either side for long. In other words, I care for myself first, then do everything I can to care for my family, home, work, and friends in a healthy rotation. On those days life feels messy, I try to remind myself all of the love that was prioritized instead.

Spirit of Life, help us to retain our sense of playfulness as we juggle life. When we are experiencing anxiety and criticizing too harshly, please assist us in practicing presence and compassion. Widen our perspectives often and return us to love. May we know joy in our hearts as we serve one another.

April plans are in the works. On Easter Sunday, we will celebrate with an egg hunt. Please see next week’s update for more. Thanks!