Interdependence as a Value
So often, we equate independence to freedom or associate it with strength. While it can be an admirable quality, it has its downfalls. When young people are praised for all of what they can do by themselves, some begin to develop a fixed mindset and base a sense of self-worth on whether help was needed.
Although people generally don’t want to be too heavily relied on by others, it is important to consider how well we are communicating to children and to people of all ages that we encourage interdependence. Even when we do tell people that we want them to ask for help when they begin to struggle, it can feel difficult and vulnerable for those in need to do so. There is a fine line between asking people to come up with their own solutions to a problem and inviting teamwork as a possibility.
While it is a tragic example, one that has stuck in my mind is listening to an interview of a mother whose son died while rationing his insulin. She spoke about how guilty she felt for raising him to be fiercely independent and how deeply she wished he would have asked for help. However, I do not believe that mother deserved that guilt, as the problem is not just an individual one. There are countless examples of loss feeling this way, as this mindset has become ingrained in our culture. To combat it, we must not only consider the way that we are caring for our family and friends, but also question the systems put into place that promote competition over collaboration and greed over giving. When we know that, most often, more is not better, but that we all feel better when everyone has enough, I believe the world will know greater peace, empathy, and happiness.
Spirit of Life, may we find joy and comfort, knowing that we are never truly alone. Let us help ourselves by both receiving gracefully and offering generously. Help us know a future where we live closer to our values. Remind us of the inherent worth and dignity of all.
September dates:
- Sunday, September 25th, during worship: Children’s Chapel (with Danielle and Macey) and Nursery Care (with Keri J. and Diane L.)
- Wednesday, September 28th, 6:30pm: Youth Group (with Lee and Macey)