Dear Friends,
During this month of Attention, I bring attention to the roots of this most common word. “Attention” stems from the Latin ad (toward) and tendere (to stretch), meaning “to stretch toward.” And the word “tender” is related, such that the tenderness of our attention comes both from our reaching toward something out of love, and also in the way stretching ourselves towards something that changes us and makes us more tender. How might we stretch toward each other tenderly, acknowledging that our human frailty—be it expressed as bombast, shame, or avoidance—calls each of us into relationship characterized by compassion. In the “Trans Inclusion for Congregations” course, participants learned a posture of attention to each other which emphasized slowing down our immediate responses to put ourselves in the position of the other person. “Compassionate Communication” emerges when we allow ourselves to be open to caring first and being correct second. First, we PAUSE, and TAKE A BREATH. Then, we THINK, where “THINK” enables us to ask ourselves “Is my response T—thoughtful, H—honest, I—inspirational, N—necessary, and finally, K—kind?” That’s a lot to think about, and so a pause to breath and to think really might help us all make responses that foster and privilege being and staying in relationship, when the alternative could be judgment and domination. It’s something worth considering, I think.

Somatic Naturalist and Embodiment Mentor Erin Geesaman Rabke has this to say about slowing down: “The times are very urgent. We must slow down. The times are very urgent. We must slow down. The times are very urgent. We must slow down. Why? When we go at our habitual speed, we can only do what we already know how to do. This is true neuro-muscularly, personally, and culturally. When we slow down, there’s a chance for something new and unprecedented (and perhaps far more wise) to emerge. When we slow down, we’re moving at a speed where we can evolve, not just charge forward in known patterns of behavior.”
May we all slow down, paying more attention to each person as they truly need to be perceived and thus learn new ways of being in compassionate relationship. I pray you are seen and you can see others as they need to be seen, as you remember today and every day, that you are loved, you are worthy, you are welcome, and you are needed. May you feel it so.

Blessings, Rev. Rita